7 Tips for Becoming More Independent + 16 Activities to Become a Strong Independent Woman

We’d carpool, we said. But when her plans changed and I got reeeeal nervous. I didn’t feel independent enough to drive into this intimidating city by myself!

Buuuut, I had to make it to this event, so I reminded myself that I’m a strong, independent woman who CAN be alone.

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t like being alone, or you don’t feel independent enough, or like you need someone with you to feel confident, keep reading!

Because after this post, you’ll feel confident enough to try being alone because you’ll have learned activities to do by yourself which will allow you to become more independent!

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How to Feel More Independent

Here are 7 ways to feel more independent.

1. Spend Short Amounts of Time Alone

Try to spend 15 minutes or half an hour alone, whether in your room, outside in nature, or out at a store or park.

I’ve found that when I want to start incorporating something into my life, I’ll designate just a short chunk of time for it, so it’s palatable, and not intimidating.

(I’ve done this with reading. I want to do more reading, so I’ll set my timer for 15 minutes and I realize that getting started was the hardest part!)

Spending short amounts of time alone will help you get used to being alone and get comfortable with it so you can eventually enjoy longer stretches of time. Just these small amounts of time will make you feel like you are capable of being alone, and will, in turn, make you feel that much more independent.

| Related reading: 20 Tips to Have a Better Relationship with Yourself

2. Get to Know Yourself and Be Comfortable with Who You Are

You’ll find it easier to be alone with yourself, independent in the world, if you actually like and understand yourself!

You can dig deep here by journaling with prompts like:

• What activity/hobby/task makes me feel like time doesn’t seem to pass?

• List the things you are really good at.

• List your best attributes.

• What do I struggle with? (Recognizing struggles is healthy. It’s normal to have struggles!)

• What things do I really value? Rest, health, community, safety, adventure…

Whatever your answers are to these prompts, accept them. That’s how you can start to become comfortable with yourself. You are a person with quirks and flaws. Be comfortable with the things that make you unique.

And don’t be afraid to picture the best version of yourself! Maybe you’re not her yet, but with active work, you can fully embody your highest self!

3. Make a List of Things You Enjoy Doing

This one is self-explanatory. Jotting down all the activities that bring you joy will give you a jumping-off point for ways to spend alone time.

Some things you might find on my list are: swimming, roller skating, ice skating, playing piano, baking, pilates, and going to magic shows and comedy shows.

CONTENT UPGRADE

4. Start Deciding Small Things for Yourself that You Used to Need Approval For

Start making tiny little decisions for yourself, whether it’s where to eat, what movie to watch, when to leave, or how to do something.

Maybe you would have sought the approval of someone else in the past, even for these small decisions, but being intentional about choosing these small things for yourself will empower you to do more of this in the future! And do more big decision-making by yourself.

It’s possible to grow and change yourself just by making more of your own decisions!

5. Start Paying for Yourself More

Especially if you’re living with family, financial independence becomes a little hairy. It’s this gray area that is difficult to make out.

But, if you want to become a strong, independent woman who is empowered to make her own decisions, comfortable being alone, and confident in who she is, one simple, easy way to start is to be as financially independent as your money will allow.

Pay for your own lunch when you go out, if a parent or sibling usually does. Pay for your own cup of coffee on that coffee date. Buy your own basic groceries if you live in a house with others.

Start using a budgeting app to help! I like the Every Dollar app! My husband and I use it daily!

If you are already financially independent, take charge of your finances in other ways by opening a Roth IRA to protect your future, starting to contribute to your employer’s match for a 401K, or setting up automatic savings deposits after you get paid. You get the picture!

| Related Reading: How to Manage Your Money and Create a Monthly Budget Now: Money Made Simple

6. Gain Autonomy by Making Sure you Plan Time in Your Days for YOU

Ever feel like you spend all of your day juggling responsibilities and taking care of things that have to get done but that don’t necessarily breathe life into you?

I’ve felt that way in the past, and it makes me feel like I have no control over the way I spend my days, like I have no say in how I spend my time. This makes me feel like how I spend my time is solely dependent on my responsibilities. It makes me feel the opposite of independent.

So, when you feel like you have no say in how you spend your time, do this: set aside even just 5 minutes during the day to do something you choose to do.

For me recently, this has looked like a 3-5 minute meditation each day. Setting aside even a small amount of time for myself where I get to do something I want, just for me, allows me to feel independent and like I am in charge of my day and my life.

It empowers me to spend my life the way I want! Instead of getting tossed around in the winds of life.

Another way you can incorporate planning time in your day for YOU is to write down in a journal or in your phone at night, one goal you have for the next day that is strictly related to your rest, your health, your joy, your desires, etc. And then be intentional about doing it the next day.

I’ve been doing this at night and it has truly instilled a level of independence in me that I have always needed! I am independent enough to choose how I spend my time! And you can be, too!

Related reading: 14 Super Simple Tips for Renewed Energy- Stop Wondering How to Care for Your Body

7. Do Your Research

There’s power in knowledge, so next time you want to know something, take it upon yourself to do your own research instead of just phoning a friend.

This is such a simple way to become a strong, independent woman.  Get a book on something that you want to know more about!  Or do some casual Google searches in an area that you want knowledge in.  Even something as simple as looking up what area you want to travel to next, (and maybe even booking it!) can give you a sense of independence!

I’ve read a few books about hormones because it’s something I want to better understand.  (One of my favorites was Woman Code by Alisa Vitti. I felt so empowered after reading it!) Gaining knowledge in this area has made me feel more independent and empowered to take charge of my health.

Activities to do Alone

You can start to feel more independent by trying some of the ideas above, but if you’re still at a loss, here are some simple activities you can do alone to get you started being comfortable alone.

1. Take a walk (as long as it’s safe to go alone- don’t go at night please!)
2. Drive to a favorite spot of yours and sit, sipping your favorite drink (for me, it’s the bay by my house with a chai latte)
3. Take yourself out for a snack or meal (if you’re uncomfortable sitting somewhere alone to eat, eat in your car or take it home- going out to get the food alone is sometimes a big enough step)
4. Go run an errand you’ve been meaning to do (yes, I’m talking about that shirt you’ve been meaning to return for the last month and a half…)
5. Do your nails or toenails and make a spa night out of it, or go get your nails done at a salon
6. Go to your favorite store and just walk around for half an hour or so- you don’t even have to buy anything
7. Ride your bike around the neighborhood for some fresh air
8. Read a book in a quiet place in your home, or even at the library
9. Make a vision board
10. Journal– try a thought dump!
11. Color in an adult coloring book
12. Cook something delish!  (maybe your fave go-to recipe or something totally new)
13. Go to the movies (such a good challenge in sitting somewhere alone, but comfortable enough because it’s dark in case you’re worried what others might think)
14. Do an activity like archery or ax throwing
15. Take your dog to the dog park
16. Take a drive with no destination, just go explore a few roads you’ve never been down (have your phone for safety!)

It’s so tempting to rely on others and concern ourselves with those around you, but it can be really freeing to begin to mind your own business and spend more time with yourself.

I want you to do your best to get to the root of why you don’t like being alone. The reason is different for you than it is for me.

Try journaling about it using any or all of these prompts:

• How do I feel when I’m out with others vs. out alone?
• What specifically is unsettling about being alone?
• When do I feel most independent?
• When do I feel most confident?
• What does the company of others provide for me?
• Write about a time when you were alone and felt comfortable.

Get to the root of why it’s uncomfortable for you to spend time alone. And whatever reason you find, do your best to accept it as is. And remember to not expect too much of yourself, too!

Bonus tip: As silly as it sounds, getting a Ring Video Doorbell so you can practically feel safe being alone can help you along in the process of feeling emotionally and mentally comfortable alone! My Ring Doorbell legitimately makes me feel safer when I’m alone!

Benefits of Being Independent

It’s truly empowering to know you can do things on your own! To know that you enjoy your own company enough to choose to be alone sometimes. Independence is freeing because you won’t always be looking to others to validate you.

Your confidence will increase when you realize you CAN do things on your own. You don’t need others around to feel comfortable and capable. (More on developing confidence here.) 

Becoming a strong, independent woman opens up doors for physical, emotional, mental, occupational, spiritual, social, and intellectual growth. Don’t you want that for yourself?! Growth in all of these areas of life?

Related reading: Exactly What to do When You’re Feeling Behind in Life

When you feel confident and comfortable being alone, you will increase your level of independence. And when you increase your level of independence, the sky’s the limit!

You’ll feel ready to start working on goals you’ve set, you’ll be empowered to make the changes you’ve wanted to in your life, and you’ll genuinely enjoy your own company while doing all of that! 

Let’s Bring it Home

By now, I bet you’re feeling confident enough to try spending some time alone. You now have tips for feeling more independent and a bunch of activities to try out on your own.

If you typically don’t feel independent enough, or like you need someone with you to feel comfortable, or just plain ol’ don’t like being alone, I hope now you feel a bit more at ease, knowing that empowerment and confidence lie right around the corner.

Becoming a strong, independent woman who’s comfortable in her own skin, comfortable enough with who she is to enjoy her own company doesn’t happen overnight.  So pick just one or two of these tips or activities to get you started, then return to this post when you want to incorporate something additional.

Related Reading:

19 Easy Ways to be More Patient with Yourself

17 Ways to Visualize Your Highest Self and Start Showing Up as Her

How to be a Confident Woman: 6 Killer Ways to Build Confidence

Share this post with someone you know who could benefit from this encouragement!

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