How to Stop Finding Your Identity in Other Things and Discover Your Identity in Christ

You’re a Christian, you do all the “right” things like go to church, read your bible, and pray, but deep down, you know that you often put other things in life above God. Or even worse, you find your identity in something other than God. Girl, I’m not shaming you in aaaany way because I’m right there with you. I’ve walked this challenge many times before, and finding your identity in Christ is somehow elusive and difficult sometimes. You’re not alone in this.

But after reading this post, you’ll feel renewed in your identity because you’ll relearn that it lies in Christ plus you’ll get action steps that will help you step into that identity. And that will ultimately allow you to let go and release a lot of your burdens.

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Where Do You Find Your Identity Right Now?

First off, your identity is always found in something. Sure, you’re you, and you might think that your identity is just you. But, your identity is found in something else outside of you, too.

Often, people find their identity in things like their job, their school work, their role or title in life (like mom, wife, girlfriend, daughter, or best friend), sports or hobbies, an addiction or vice, or their significant other.

When you find your identity in something outside of you that’s not God, you risk living a life that’s succumbed to this outside thing. Your happiness and fulfillment rely on your success with that thing.

Related reading: My Top Strategy for Finding Comfort

For example, if you find your identity in your job, and you lose your job, your happiness and fulfillment are negatively impacted. 

(More on how to find fulfillment here.)

Or if your identity is rooted in your role as a girlfriend, and you pour everything you are into that role, then you break up with your boyfriend, your world is shattered and you have nowhere to “hang your hat” because you lost the source of your purpose.

(To better understand your identity in Christ, it’s helpful to understand the character of God through strong women of the bible. This bible study is great for that! I’m such a fan of the Daily Grace Co.)

Prompts and Questions to Help You Find Out Where Your Identity Lies

Ask yourself (or journal about) these questions to determine where your identity lies (start with the first two to identify your current identity, then move on to the other prompts):

1. What do I spend most of my time thinking about?
2. What do I spend most of my time doing?

• Does that thing I spend most of my headspace and time on consume me?
• Do I place my purpose in that thing?
• Does my existence seek to serve that thing?
• Do I judge my status in life/success by that thing?

(Read here for more about using a faith journal!)

These questions will help you narrow down if you’re finding your identity in something external besides God. 

And if you are, know you’re normal! It’s not ideal, but it can be worked on!

Real Life Example

I found myself completely consumed by my college course load. I realized, after a meeting with someone I admired in the church, that I was finding my identity in school, in being a student. It was a rude awakening to hear that as a Christian who was doing “all the things” I should be doing, I still had this major hurdle to overcome. 

I was placing my worth, my value, my time and energy, and my purpose in something other than God. I felt like a failure as a Christian. 

| Related Reading: 26 Things to Thank God for When Your Life Isn’t Ideal

Your Identity IS in Christ

To find your identity in Christ means that, as a Christian, you find your worth in Him. You understand that your purpose and reason is God. 

And when your identity is in Christ, you don’t have to worry about losing it the way you can lose a job, your title as a student, or your position on the basketball team. Your identity in Christ is eternal, lasting, permanent, real, deep, and forever. 

Here are some bible verses to help you wrap your head around the beauty of finding your identity in Christ. 

Galatians 2:20

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

John 1:12

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,”

John 15:5

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

1 Corinthians 6:17

“But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.”

Ephesians 1:15

“He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,”

Jeremiah 1:5

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

1 Peter 2:9

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

The Themes in These Verses

The common theme I’m getting:

• God chose us and we are children of God
• We belong to Him
• Our lives are because of Him
• We are joined to Him
• He lives in us

When we can begin to find our identity in Christ instead of things in this world, all things are filtered through the knowledge that we are His. We operate differently because He lives in us. We live differently because we know our purpose and our identity is in something that’s unchangeable. It’s constant. 

All of this means that stress and burdens are lifted from us since we don’t have to work to keep up our identity on our own. 

(Here’s a bible study on idolatry- you know, when we put other things ahead of God… *phew that’s a wake-up call for you and me both*)

For example, if I found my identity in being a wife, but something tragic happened and I no longer had that title, I’d be lost without purpose, worth, and value. But if I found my identity in Christ, and then lost my title as “wife”, I’d still be sad, but I’d still know my value and I’d be better able to recover. 

Action Steps to Step into Your Identity in Christ

Surrender “That Thing” To God (Daily)

When I was wrapped up in finding my identity in school, my support system at church encouraged me to surrender my studies to God.

And that’s when I had one of my favorite “God moments” of my entire faith. I’ve written about it before here, but basically, I felt for the first time what true surrender feels like.

(Here’s exactly how to surrender.)

Imagine the weight of a million elephants on you, and how it would feel for them to *poof* disappear off your shoulders. That’s kinda what it felt like. 

So whatever your “thing” is… that thing that you’re placing your value and worth in, whatever you’re finding your identity in right now (that you know isn’t good for you, but you feel like you can’t help it), surrender it to God.

That may look like legitimately getting on your knees, looking up to the heavens because you’re so overtaken by this thing (maybe your job, maybe your hobby, maybe an addiction or struggle), and asking God to take over. You might beg God to take the reigns and give up your firm grasp on this thing that’s been your identity for so long.

Or maybe it looks like quietly journaling about it, subtly bowing your head and having an open and honest conversation with God, asking Him to take the lead.

I’ll add a special little note here: when I have surrendered things to God in the past, sometimes I feel like I didn’t do it right because I’m still struggling to hold on to that thing. So I take it to Him daily. I consistently and regularly surrender my struggle to God. There’s nothing wrong with that!

Be disciplined and fervent like the Proverbs 31 woman.

Seek More of God and Less of Your Past Identity

At church not too long ago, a deacon reminded the congregation to seek more of God and seek less money. I think the same concept applies here. 

When we feel like we need more money, more status, a better title, more of xyz, we should really be seeking more of God. He knows what we need and want. And if we stay plugged into Him, our needs and desires will be met! (Matthew 6:33)

So seek more of God daily. If you’re not already, actively talk to him throughout the day. My perception of prayer was changed when one bible study encouraged me to pray many short prayers throughout my day instead of feeling like I had to sit down and pray for a huge chunk of time. 

Related reading: 3 Misconceptions about Prayer SHATTERED + 3 Tips for More Meaningful Prayer

And if you’re not yet, get the Bible app on your phone and do a devotional! It sends you reminders every day to get plugged into God’s Word.

Fill your life with more things that honor God and you’ll be amazed at how He takes care of you and how you’ll begin to strengthen your identity in Him.

Meditate on Him and His Promises

5 years ago, I would have turned my head at meditation. To be honest, I thought it was somehow contradictory to my faith. But I’ve dipped my toes into it over the past few years. And I even centered my latest new years resolution on it!

(I’ve also written about manifestation and my journey incorporating it into my faith.)

There are so many guided Christian meditations out there on YouTube and even the Bible app.

But you can do this on your own too! Pick one of the bible verses in the section above. Copy it down in a journal, write about how you can apply it, and commit it to memory. Then pray about it, and recite it. And BAM you’ve meditated on God’s word. 

It doesn’t have to be anything complicated or weird. You can simply sit in stillness as you read and reread a verse that sticks out to you. Doing this with verses that specifically depict a promise God made to us, I find, is even more powerful!

Let’s Bring it Home

Wherever you’re currently finding your identity, it’s possible it’s not quite where it should be as a Christian. The good thing is that it’s not too difficult to rework your identity and build a strong identity in Christ. You know the benefits (burdens lifted and stress reduced) and you have the action steps to make a change! Pick one action step (either surrendering daily, seeking more of God, or meditating on His promises). Then run with that one, putting your all into it. 

I hope that if you’ve been feeling like you’re struggling to find your identity in Christ, you now feel renewed in your realization that you absolutely DO belong to God and CAN find your identity in Him. And I hope you can build that identity with these 3 simple action steps.

Related Reading:

How to Share the Gospel with Confidence: Here’s Exactly What to Say

What Does “Faith Without Works is Dead” Even Mean?

Christianity and Anxiety: 5 Things the Bible Says about Anxiety

What You Really Should Know About Christianity: You’re Only 3 Steps Away From Less Loneliness and More Comfort