Must Have Positive Self-Talk Examples + Benefits, Strategies, and Worksheet

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to just ooze confidence?!   And you’re over here just tryna get by?  Yeah, me too! 

I once went through a phase where I wore heavy, black eyeliner and straightened my already-poker-straight hair EVERY DAY just to feel more confident.  I know, I know, cringe-worthy middle school memories are probably bubbling to the surface right now. 

Curious how I boosted the confidence I have in myself and improved how I see myself as a person?  Keep reading and you’ll start to feel worthy because you’ll learn positive self-talk examples, strategies, benefits, and exactly how to speak kindly to yourself, which will improve your self-confidence and self-view.

This post may contain affiliate links which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure for more information.

Self-Talk Examples To Use In Your Life

You can use self-talk in a variety of ways to lift yourself up. Self-talk can help you feel more confident, lower stress, and become more accepting of yourself. Let’s cover a bunch of different examples so you’re armed with exactly the self-talk phrases YOU need.

Self-Talk Examples for a Happier Life

First, a few affirmations:

• I will make the most of where I’m at so I can find more joy.
• I love xyz about my life.
• My home (or favorite place) is my happy place.

Now, here’s an example of self-talk in its more “natural habitat”:

• I’m going to make myself a cup of tea and relax on the couch for an hour. I’m not letting this busy day drag me down.

Note: In all the examples below, the first three bullets will be examples of affirmations and the fourth bullet will be an example of positive-self talk as it will likely naturally occur in your brain– a little less formal, a little more like a normal conversation.

Self-Talk Examples for Developing Self-Love

• I’m worthy of rest.
• I will make time to [do something you love].
• I’m doing a stretching routine after work today.
• I feel tired, but I’m going to get my butt up and go for a walk because I know I feel so good after walks.

Self-Talk Examples For A Healthy Mind and Body

• My body is strong and capable of so much.
• I’m so proud of how much I learned in that course/book, etc.
• I’m smart and creative and capable of creating something beautiful.
• Let me add an extra scoop of veggies and a bit less rice at dinner. I know I feel a lot better when I eat this way.

Self-Talk Examples for Improved Confidence and Self-Esteem

• My confidence will continue to grow as I work on viewing myself better.
• I have value, and it’s not found in what I look like, but in who I am.
• I am not my body, my blemishes, my cellulite, or my pimples. I am worth more than my physical appearance.
• I don’t feel totally confident, but I’m going to hold my head high as I walk into this party and just focus on having fun.

Self-Talk Examples for Dealing With Anxiety

• I am not defined by my anxiety. I am not my anxiety, I just feel anxious sometimes.
• I’m allowed to feel nervous and worried. Those feelings are valid.
• I can work through my anxiety attacks with the tools I’ve learned.
• Okay, I’m feeling super anxious right now. I’m going to take a second to step outside and take some deep breaths. I can get through this.

Self-Talk Examples for Love and Relationships

• I am worthy of receiving love from others just as I am.
• My role as an xyz is just one part of my identity.
• I love how I feel when I spend time with [favorite person], I’m going to spend more time with her/him.
• Even though I haven’t seen [a certain person] in a while, the relationship isn’t in jeopardy. I’m confident in our friendship and won’t let all the stuff I see on social media make me jealous.

Examples to Help You Have Faith in Your Own Abilities

• I can do this. I’ve got this. I can handle this.
• Even if I can’t meet this goal, it doesn’t impact my value.
• My skills are always evolving and growing.
• I didn’t do well on [whatever you were working on/trying to do] but I’m not going to let that stop me from trying. I’ll start fresh in [your timeline].

Examples to Increase Gratitude

• I’m grateful for xyz even though I don’t have abc.
• I have what I need, and I’ll make do with that. 
• My life is full of things that bring me joy.
• Sure, I didn’t have the best day, but I won’t let that determine how I view my day. I did get to go on a walk on lunch and I had my favorite dinner, so I’m grateful for that.

Examples to Help You Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

• My accomplishments are wins, and I don’t have to look to others’ accomplishments to gauge my own success.
• My body is mine and it’s good. I don’t have to judge my beauty based on any external factors.
• I’m happy with my life even if it looks different than my friends’ lives.
• She has the things I think I want, the house, the husband, the baby… That stings a little, but I’m also genuinely loving the season of life I’m in. And when I feel like I’m not loving it so much, I will lean into the things I love to do.

Self-Talk to Help You Get Over Self-Doubt

• I’m not my weaknesses.
• I have so much going for me- my strengths and skills will only get better.
• My self-doubt is something I can get over as I work on myself.
• I definitely don’t always feel confident, but I feel super confident when I take the time to get ready for my day, so I’ll do that this morning.

Examples to Remind You to Love and Care for Yourself More Often

• I’m allowed to make time for self-care during my days.
• Loving myself feels so good.
• Caring for myself today looks like xyz.
• I’m feeling totally beat today. Let me take a load off and give myself a break by…

Examples to Let go of Perfectionism and Accept Yourself

• The person I am right now is enough.
• As far as this project/thing I’m working on, done is better than perfect.
• The mistakes I made on xyz does not define me.
• I’m seriously struggling to move past xyz. Let me just take this one step at a time and work on what I can feasibly do today, right where I’m at.

Examples to Avoid Focusing on the Past

• My past does not define who I am today.
• Today, I will focus on being present in the moment. 
• The present moment is where I want to exist.
• I’m feeling beat down about xzy (an event that happened in the past) but I’m choosing to put it out of my head and focus on what I have going on today.

Positive Self-Talk Examples for Athletes

• My body is strong and deserves to be treated with respect.
• I love my body and all that it does for me.
• The outcome of this next xyz (match, race, competition, tournament, etc.) does not define who I am as a person or an athlete.
• I feel sore and tired, so I’m going to give my body a break so it can recover the way it needs to. I don’t have to xyz (workout, practice, etc.) every single day. I need rest and I deserve rest.

Examples of Positive Self-Talk for Kids

• I am loved.
• I feel good today because…
• I have fun when I…
• I am going to play with xyz because I have so much fun when I do that.

What is Self-Talk?

Self-talk is that constant string of thoughts trickling through your mind at all times. It’s really that simple.  You’re always talking to yourself in your head it’s completely normal. Everyone does it.  

This stream of thoughts can either do you harm or good, bring you peace or cause you turmoil, depending on the content.  You can feel good if your self-talk is positive and adaptive, and you can actually feel down if your self-talk is negative and maladaptive.  

What’s Positive Self-Talk?

Positive self-talk is just the simple act of talking to yourself in a kind way. It means that you are consciously making the thoughts in your head helpful and adaptive.

Positive self-talk is exactly what the examples are in the bulleted lists above.

The Importance and Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

There are seriously tons of benefits of positive self-talk! From lowering stress to increasing confidence to improving relationships, and more, when you talk kindly to yourself, you’re effectively improving your mental health.

Here are a few specific benefits of positive self-talk.

1. Helps to Reduce Stress

When you talk kindly to yourself (for help, just pick any of the positive self-talk examples above), you’re lowering the level of tension and stress in your life, even if just a little. Research shows that self-talk causes you to actually think differently and in turn respond differently to challenges and stress.

On the flip side, negative self-talk (talking harshly to or about yourself) can impact how you view yourself and cause more tension and stress in your life. 

2. Adaptive Self-Talk Helps to Boost Confidence (eliminate self-doubt) and Resilience

Positive self-talk can boost your confidence significantly! It’s pretty simple. If you talk positively about yourself, it’s likely that you’ll start to believe what you say about yourself. Thoughts can become beliefs!

| Related Reading: How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Gain Confidence Now

If you keep saying to yourself (using self-talk) that you are worthy of love, eventually, you’ll start to believe it! Meaning you can actually create new beliefs that directly improve your confidence and resilience. 

A few self-talk examples you could use to boost confidence and resilience are:

• I can do hard things.
• I’m not afraid of something challenging, and I’ll do my best at it.
• Even when I fall short, I’m worth trying again.

3. Helps Build Better Relationships

You can use positive self-talk to build a better relationship with yourself and believe it or not- a better relationship with those around you. 

The first is obvious. Talking nicely to yourself using positive self-talk and affirmations will undoubtedly improve your relationship with yourself. You’ll be your own safe space. 

But how can self-talk help you build a better relationship with others? It comes back to who you believe you are. If you use self-talk to improve your beliefs about yourself (that you’re worthy, or fun to be around, or smart, etc.) you’re going to naturally foster healthier relationships if you believe you’re deserving of them.

4. Positive Self-Talk can Help with Anxiety and Depression

Psychology Today’s Marc Lener MD says “Negative self-talk leads to enhancing and intensifying experienced negative emotions.” 

It’s clear that positive self-talk will have a positive impact on your mental health. No, negative self-talk does not, in and of itself, cause mental health diagnoses. And no, positive self-talk doesn’t cure mental health struggles altogether. 

But positive self-talk is one tool you can add to your arsenal when trying to combat anxiety and depression. Healthy self-talk is one part of the puzzle when it comes to limiting anxiety and depression.

| Related Reading: How to Calm an Anxiety Attack: 6 Techniques

5. Healthy Self-Talk Motivates you to Keep Going

Healthy self-talk can actually motivate you to keep pushing through a hard thing. Whether that hard thing is a one-off workout or that hard thing is an entire season of life, positive-self talk can inspire you.

Silly as it sounds, when there’s a bug in the house and I’m home alone (I’m pretty darn scared of most bugs), as I’m getting rid of it, I coach myself with a repetitive mantra. It’s simple, but it gets the job done it goes like this: I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. 

Using positive self-talk as motivation is almost like you have your own personal cheerleader in the room with you encouraging you to push through.

| Related Reading: 10 Ways to Increase Motivation in the Workplace: #10 May Surprise You

Does Using Positive Self-Talk Guarantee a Positive Outcome?

No, using positive self-talk doesn’t automatically guarantee a positive outcome in all things. Picture this: you’re in a competition and you coach yourself using positive self-talk to get you through. The sheer use of positive self-talk doesn’t mean you’ll win. That’s naive thinking.

But, what positive self-talk does do is ensure you’re pushing yourself and doing your absolute best. The book The Four Agreements has a whole section on doing your best. It’s literally and actually the only thing you can do. Your best is your best. And self-talk helps you to simply do your best.

Healthy, adaptive self-talk doesn’t guarentee exactly what you want to happen, but it will especially help you if what you want doesn’t happen. In fact, that’s when I think healthy self-talk is the most important- when things don’t work out.

(I wrote about a story when things seriously did NOT go my way.)

It’s great to engage in adaptive self-talk when things are already good. That’s a gratitude mindset. But I think it’s even more important to engage in adaptive, helpful self-talk when things are not so good. That’s what can get you through. 

How to Use Positive Self-Talk: 4 Strategies and Techniques

Putting positive self-talk into practice is the most important part of learning about self-talk. There are a few ways to implement self-talk, including using affirmations and personal check-ins. It’s also good to be aware of the situations where you’re likely to be triggered into using negative self-talk.

1. Identifying Self-Talk Triggers

There will be certain scenarios and circumstances in your life that will cause you to unconsciously shift to using negative-self talk. You need to identify what these situations are. 

Maybe when you’re around a certain group of people, or at a certain type of event, you notice you feel particularly susceptible to negative self-talk. This could be because you’re lacking confidence in a certain area. 

| Related Reading: How to be a Confident Woman: 6 Killer Ways to Build Confidence

Know your triggers so you can better prepare for them, or even avoid them altogether if possible. Some triggers can’t be avoided, and for those instances, you’ll need to prep beforehand. 

Maybe repeat some positive self-talk examples and mantras before exposing yourself to this situation or trigger. Maybe every time you notice you’re talking down to yourself, you challenge the thought right away to ask if it’s true.

2. Utilize Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are a surefire way to implement positive self-talk. They’re simple, positive statements about yourself that have the power to crush your negative thoughts. I look at affirmations as the more “formal” side of self-talk. They’re a bit more polished if you will. 

In my positive self-talk examples at the start of this post, the first three bullets of every section were more affirmation style, and the fourth bullet was a more casual style of self-talk that you might find floating around in your head at a given time. 

Here’s the difference:

Affirmation: I can do hard things.

Casual self-talk: Okay, Skye, I can freaking do this. I’ve got this. It’s so hard, but I’m going to crush it.

Here are a few more examples of positive affirmations you can incorporate into your self-talk (and even post around your environment):

• I am loved.
• I am strong.
• I love myself.
• I am trying my best.

It can be really helpful to post affirmation cards in your environment too for an extra reminder

3. Check-In With Your Emotions Regularly

If you’re trying to incorporate more healthy self-talk into your life, it’s wise to check in with yourself and your feelings regularly. 

When is the last time you asked yourself: How am I, really? (And gave yourself the space to answer!) 

I really like to use a scale method to check in with my mental health. I give myself a rating on a scale of -5 to 5. -5 means I’m really struggling, 0 is neutral, and 5 means I’m totally thriving. And I can land anywhere in between. 

Sometimes it’s even helpful to just rate yourself without any further explanation necessary. (Sure you will want to dig deeper sometimes, but for a quick check-in, just the rating is okay from time to time.)

If you notice after your check-in that you’re feeling not ideal, make a conscious effort to be a little nicer to yourself for the rest of the day. Treat yourself and speak kindly to yourself. 

Download my free Self-Care Calendar Challenge to help you be a little kinder to yourself.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Create Boundaries

Creating boundaries for your mental health is such an important thing to do to protect yourself and all the hard work you’re doing (or will be doing) to improve it. 

If you know that going shopping with your mom or with your friends causes you to get into a negative spiral of thoughts about your body (and in turn, negative self-talk), put up a boundary and don’t shop with them. Put up that boundary, girl!

If a boss or friend always texts you late at night, and you struggle to fall asleep afterward because you’re frustrated you stayed up to talk- put up a boundary. 

Don’t allow yourself to fall asleep to a string of negative self-talk like, “I’m so stupid for feeding into their drama at 11:30 at night, why can’t I just put my foot down? I’m such a pushover.” Put a boundary in place. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, or kindly ask them to not text you past 8 PM, or leave your phone outside the bedroom.

What’s Negative Self-Talk?

Negative self-talk is the act of talking to yourself negatively. When you engage in negative self-talk, you talk down to yourself and speak harshly to and about yourself. 

 Examples of Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can take the form of small little demeaning statements about yourself, and go as far as hurtful narratives about who you are as a whole. 

Here are a few examples of negative self-talk:

• I’m such an idiot, why did I do that?
• I’m so stupid for thinking/doing/buying that.
• I’m no good at this, I should just quit while I’m ahead.
• Bad things always happen to me.
• I’ll never be good enough to xyz.
• I can’t believe I forgot my lunch today. If I wasn’t always running around in the morning I wouldn’t have forgotten it. Man, why can’t I just go to bed on time so I can wake up on time? I’m so dumb for always staying up so late. I’m never going to learn.

There are also different types of negative thinking such as black-and-white thinking and catastrophizing you should be aware of that can lead to hurtful self-talk. That’s a bit outside the scope of this post, but you’re welcome to read more about that!

What Impact Does Negative Self-talk Have?

Negative self-talk is detrimental to your mindset. If you are constantly talking down to yourself and speaking negatively about yourself in your head, you’re going to have a pretty cynical, damaged perspective of yourself.

And when you have a skewed, negative idea of who you are, it can impact your confidence and self-esteem, your happiness, your ability to grow, and your mental health. 

If you let negative self-talk fester and continue, you’re opening yourself up to a lot of hurt. You’ll believe you aren’t deserving of happiness or a good life, and then you’ll start to live that way. Thoughts become beliefs and beliefs become your reality.

When to Seek Help

Consider seeking help from a mental health professional if your self-talk is impacting your day-to-day life. Check out the support available to you if your self-talk is bothering you and you’d like to improve it.

I will say that while everybody can benefit from counseling and coaching, you can always work to improve your self-talk on your own while you find the right support. 

It’s also worth noting that some negative self-talk isn’t the absolute end of the world. If you have one bad thought about yourself, that doesn’t mean you’re broken, and doesn’t necessarily mean that you must find a therapist right away. 

I think that on your journey to improving your self-talk, you’ll notice that being hard on yourself is sometimes a normal part of life. If you know you could have tried harder at something, it’s healthy to recognize that and challenge yourself more. There’s just a positive and a negative way to go about challenging yourself. 

How to Make Self-Talk Less Negative and More Positive

Changing your self-talk from negative to positive isn’t as daunting as you might think. It just starts with adjusting your phrasing a bit.

Here are a few examples of turning negative self-talk (on the left) into positive self-talk (on the right):

• I’m so stupid for messing that up. > I can figure this out with a little more effort.
• I hate my body/the way I look. > My body does amazing things for me. / I’m working to love my body despite my perceived flaws.
• I’m not as far as I want to be in life. > I’m actively working on creating the life I love.

A lot of shifting from negative self-talk to positive self-talk is shifting your perspective on things. And even if you don’t actually feel the things you’re saying when you shift your phrasing, that’s okay. You don’t have to believe them just yet. Just start by saying those words to yourself. The feelings can follow.

Positive Self-Talk Resources

It’s helpful to have some support in your journey toward increasing positive self-talk and limiting negative self-talk. Arm yourself with exercises, books, quotes, and material that you can refer to when you’re having a particularly tough day, mental health-wise. 

Positive Self-Talk Worksheet

Bonus Content: Change Your Self-Talk Free Printable

Don’t forget to check your spam and promotional folder in your email for the download!

Positive Self-Talk Exercises

Arm yourself with exercises that help you increase the amount of positive self-talk you engage in. Try any of these to get you going:

• Journal one affirmation or mantra each day. Feel free to write it down 3 or 5 times (or more!)
• Post a fresh sticky note or index card with a positive statement about yourself on your mirror, fridge, or in your car each Sunday evening for you to see all week long.
• Challenge every negative thought you notice. Ask yourself if it’s true. Most of the time it’s not.
• Make a strength jar! Grab a bunch of slips of paper and write down a strength or skill on each slip. Every day, or when you’re struggling, pull a slip from the jar to encourage yourself.

Books About Self-Talk

Judgment Detox: Release the Beliefs That Hold You Back from Living A Better Life by Gabrielle Bernstein

• This book addresses those pesky beliefs you hold about yourself that I discussed earlier. It’s a step-by-step guide to addressing your limiting beliefs. This book is unique in the way it uses practices from yoga and meditation.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Shad Helmstetter

• In this book, the author outlines how to actually reverse the effects of negative self-talk that you’ve accidentally afflicted on yourself. The author uses 5 steps to help you move toward a mentally healthier, fuller life.

Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross

• This book is chock full of interesting case studies and research from the author’s lab. If you want to channel your inner coach instead of your inner critic, pick up this book! 

The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way by Ian Tuhovsky

• This book highlights exactly how to understand your inner voice and use it for good! If you want to harness the power of your thoughts and use self-talk to create better outcomes in your life, this book is for you.

Positive Self-Talk Quotes

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” -Jack Kornfield

“Evidence is conclusive that your self-talk has a direct bearing on your performance.” -Zig Ziglar

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” -Henry Ford

“Words matter. And the words that matter most are the ones you say to yourself.” -David Taylor-Klaus

“Bring acceptance and compassionate self-talk. Say nice things to yourself – you’re the only one listening. Tell yourself, I am doing the best I can.” -Gabrielle Bernstein

“Talk to ourselves in the same way we’d talk to someone we’d love. Yes, you made a mistake. You’re human.” -Brené Brown

Other Mental Health Resources

I’ve compiled a list of wonderful free mental health downloads (no submitting your email required to download) that are categorized by topic, all with the goal of improving your mental health!

Let’s Bring it Home

Isn’t the power of speaking kindly to yourself crystal clear now?  You deserve to be talked to graciously by yourself because you have value!  You offer a unique perspective and possess distinct talents.  

Now it’s time to put your knowledge to work.  You know exactly how- identity, challenge, and replace negative talk about yourself with positive talk.  You now know that you can decide to make the stream of thoughts within you positive so they increase your confidence and self-view.  

And you can implement affirmations into your day for even more encouragement!  

| Related Reading:

34 Best Books on Finding Your Passion so You Can Live Out Your Purpose in Life